Scanner Dan

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Word Category: People

Related Words: Piccolo Guy, Segue Guy, Segway Guy, Brother Jed, Blaze (Add)

90 Definitions

Scanner is a fixture at the Memorial Union and State Street. While eccentrically amiable, Dan may rub the unacquainted the wrong way with his poor hygiene and often nonsensical mumbo jumbo. He's convinced every UW Madison girl is Jewish and in a sorority and claims to have a relationship with some teenager named "Jordan." Dan has a long standing feud and tumultuous relationship with another Union icon — Tunnel Bob. Posted by: bucky06grad on May 02, 2008 (19) (5)
A guy, "Scanner" Dan Mathison, who hangs out in downtown Madison with a police scanner at his hip. Scanner Dan is still hanging aruond the downtown/campus area as of late 2007. Posted by: madmax on Apr 04, 2008 (10) (4)
Scanner Dan is a talkative eccentric who appears homeless, who you will find usually with a police scanner in downtown convenience stores talking enlessly to the clerks often about football or what is on the front page of the newspaper. He is quite friendly and will talk about anything with you if you engage him. Posted by: WillWelch on Jun 30, 2008 (9) (4)
A wise man once hypothesized that Scanner Dan was a in reality a performance art piece and that one day he will remove his costume and under it will be a beautiful blonde six foot tall sweedish bikini model. I long for that day. Posted by: tkozz1 on Jul 17, 2008 (4) (1)
oh, jordan IS real, and jewish, and was in my sorority - though obviously NOT his wife (07 grad I believe)... he once announced to all of ensteins that she was prettier than me. another time a friend of mine was tanning on the grass near memorial library and, with eyes closed, felt shade move over her face...she opened her eyes to scanner dan's infamous perrenial disposable camera in her face, which comes about as the weather gets warm. Posted by: danielle909 on Jul 18, 2008 (3) (1)
One day one of my close friends was using the computers at the Memorial Union to quickly check her email. I guess Scanner Dan was doing the same next to her. My friend happened to fart next to him, which he noticed. To my friends horror he decided to announce this to everyone around. She quickly left the computer but Scanner Dan followed her through the Union pointing and yelling, "She just farted, she farted." Posted by: Mad28 on Jul 12, 2008 (2) (0)
Dan was interviewed in a local Anarchist's Co-Op news paper YEARS ago! I remember the article, i remember meeting him, i even wrote a damn poem about him. talk about permanent fixtures, he outlasted the newspaper by at least 5 years! Posted by: milozane on Jul 11, 2008 (2) (0)
Dan is a kook. Essestially harmless he will blab your ear off about firetrucks, his hatred of fratboys, his "wife" Jordan or anything else within eyeshot. He hasen't seen a shower in a long time, and it is slightly disturbing to look at his toes. He moved in to the building next to me about a year ago so I can assure you he is in fact not homeless. Within the last week he has stated that Jordan is gonna have a baby... He has had other delusions of similar granduer that he has shared with me so we will see if this one is true. Posted by: sjiles on Jul 11, 2008 (2) (0)
In the fall of 1998, I saw Scanner Dan yelling at the guy tied to the cross (see givingjane's definition). I was 90% sure I was going to Madison before that moment. I was 100% sure after. Posted by: pjkaplan34 on Jul 03, 2008 (5) (3)
There was once a preacher on the Mall, tied to a cross, preaching to about 200 students. He made the mistake of saying that students "blow off jesus," which Scanner Dan took and ran with. You can imagine. Yes, blow jobs galore, yelling over the preacher about blow jobs for the next 10 minutes. He somehow got on the topic of blow jobs at the zoo. I just about died when he belted out how "a blow job from an elephant, now there's a blow job you'll never forget." Posted by: givingjane on Jul 01, 2008 (5) (3)

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Photos

Me, a friend, and Scanner Dan at the Mifflin Street block party, May 2006

Posted by: mjheinecke

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scanner dan

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Scanner at Mifflin '07

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On Coastie Patrol

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Scanner Dan - immortalized on a Delta Gamma 5th Annual Anchor Splash t-shirt

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